Holy EYES, Batman!

I had to dissect a lambs eye in school once. From that point on, I promised myself I would NEVER touch another Eyeball, including my own.

Well, I went back on my word today and picked up my first pair of Contact Lenses. I've always had this issue with "eyes". They freak me out. They are slimy, and just plain gross. Yet there I stood, in the line at the DR's office waiting for him to hand me these tiny little things I was supposed to jam into my eyesballs.

The receptionist handed them to me and set up a follow appt. I had to look like a genius standing there. I looked at my package of contacts, looked up at the receptionist and then at my contacts again. "So, their pretty self explanatory then? I just pop 'em in my eyes?" I could tell she wanted to laugh. But hell, how am I supposed to know?

She said "Follow Me!" and took me back into this little room covered floor to ceiling in mirrors (which is never a good idea when lady isn't expecting to see a 360 degree view of herself). I wanted SO bad to turn around and run the hell out of that room.

She told me to sit...I did. She opened them, took my glasses and said "Get that one out of there!". I pick up the little package, hold it up to the light desperately searching for "it". Nothing... I saw nothing.
"Do you see it?". What the hell do you think Lady, you have my glasses, you're lucky I see YOU. (No, I didn't say it like that, but it took everything I had not to.) I just kept plunging my little finger into this package hoping that something would appear. And it did!

"Put it on your pointer finger, use your middle finger to pull your bottom lid down and your other hand to pull your top lid...up". Sounded easy enough. So I get to it...Yanking on both "lids". I go to put in this nifty little lens but before it hit my eye, my fingernail did. Scratched the ever living &^%*$ out of my eyeball.

See...this is why I didn't want contacts! What was "eye" thinking! (see what I did there. lol)

Needless to say, I got them in. She told me to practice taking them out. SCREW that. I wanted out of that room...BAD. I said I'd practice at home and proceeded to leave.

I get to the front door and let me tell you something...Snow is BRIGHT. I seriously felt like I was looking directly at the sun. I can't stop blinking and it feels like I have a razor blade in my eyes.
Not sure if I'm going to be able to hang out with the Contact crowd. This is really just...annoying.

I was told I will build a callus-like something or other on my eyeball and won't be able to tell they are even in. Which leads me to the question...

Do I really want a Callus on my EYEBALL. I mean, seriously. I don't think I do.

I'm giving them a shot though...
ONLY because now I get to go buy myself a cute pair of Shooting Glasses for the Range.

Shopping...oh they joys!